I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
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