just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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