I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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