Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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