I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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