I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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