My room smells like vodka and shame
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
