Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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