Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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