How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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