And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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