when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize