Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
