I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
