sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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