i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize