how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
