So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
