There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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