their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
