now i know why i became what i already was.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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