Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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