just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
