absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
