Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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