So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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