Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
