I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize