You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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