did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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