listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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