Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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