Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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