My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
