420 ftw
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
