so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
