Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
