Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
