I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
