god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
