i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
