so explain again why im purple
no
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
