ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
