So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
