good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
