So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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