I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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