What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
