OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
