Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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