He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize