your parents love me but you hate me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
