yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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