u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
