some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
