He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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