Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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