so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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