I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
