my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
