I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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