8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
