If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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