even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize