She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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