That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
