We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
