Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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