I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
