Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
