Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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