no. you can't hotbox the world.
He passed out mid-signature
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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