Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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