We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
