If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
